"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers." Here in the Mojave Desert, animals have had millions of years to adapt to the harsh environment. Welcome, amigo To the land without end The desert and death Are the closest of friends We sing of his courage In magnificent song But pay close attention He won't be here longĪs the birds pluck his eyes The sun bleaches his bones See his entrails get scattered Watch him lose his cojones So you're saying there's a town, a real town, not a metaphor town. You want me to just walk out into the desert? If you want to find water, you must first find Dirt.Īt noon, the townspeople gather for a mysterious ritual.Ī town? You mean, with real people and everything? Where? The path to knowledge is fraught with consequence. Why don't you just wait until there are no cars coming? Now help me up and I will help you find what you seek. Listen, I can't survive in the desert, okay? Pretty soon, I'm going to start seeing my insides. Highly sophisticated friends! I was very popular! I had an incredibly complex social network going! Nothing? Your delusional quest just ruined my life! They say he rides an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him.Įnlightenment. The other side? You mean, just now, that was you crossing the road? What our story needs is an ironic, unexpected event that will propel the hero into conflict! You know, the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. Or I could be the rogue anthropologist, battling pythons down in the Congo!Īnd if you desire romance, I will become the greatest lover the world has ever known! I could be the sea cap'n returning from a mighty voyage to reclaim his mechanical arm! I mean, who else is better qualified to bask in the adulation of his numerous companions? I'm the guy, the protagonist, the hero.Įvery story needs a hero. What's that, Victor? My character's undefined? That's absurd. Victor, you were wooden! There, I said it. Unhand her, you jailers of virtue, or taste the bitter sting of my vengeance!ĭr Marx, I'm not getting anything from you. 'Tis I, the much-anticipated hero, returning to rescue his emotionally unstable maiden! Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne while her ageing father lies gravely ill. "It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love." The stage is set, the night moist with apprehension.Īlone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life. Okay, everybody, let's take it from the top. So sit back, relax, and enjoy your low-calorie popcorn and assorted confections while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero who has yet to enter his own story. X360a would like to thank jamie1000013 for this Road Map.We are gathered here today to immortalise in song the life and untimely death of a great legend. It offers no form of challenge even on hard mode, which makes this a great game if your just looking to breeze through and get a quick gamerscore fix. This game is fun and you will be unlocking achievements constantly throughout the game which is an added incentive to play this. You may also have some other achievements left to do like completing levels without dying or other level specific one's, just simply click Tales Select and pick the level you need to replay for them. For a good boosting method use this guide: HERE. While playing through the game, take note of the level specific achievements in the achievement guide which are: "Meep! Meep! Meep!", "Good Air Day", "They Got a Pill For That", and "This is Bat Country!".Īfter you have completed the game you will more than likely have the "Red, White & Blue Sevens" achievement still left to do. If you miss a collectible there's no need to worry because you can simply replay the level and find the collectible(s) you missed. Make sure to follow this guide for all of the collectibles: HERE (Credit to NiteJokester). Hard mode doesn't live up to it's name because it's incredibly easy. Start the game out on hard mode so that it only takes one playthrough for the full 1000. The full 1000 can be obtained in one playthrough if you start out on hard mode and collect every collectible. It provides little to no challenge, even on hard mode and all achievements unlock when they are supposed to. It features 9 short levels of gameplay which entail Rango platforming, fighting, and shooting his way to the end of the level. Rango is a short but sweet ride to an easy 1000. Does difficulty affect achievements?: Yes Do cheat codes disable achievements?: No cheats Number of missable achievements: None (Replay levels available) Minimum number of playthroughs needed: 1 Approximate amount of time to 1000 : 5 - 8 hours
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